You were Fate’s catalyst and the moon roars
Out your name. The ground has shifted
With tectonic life-changes.
Autumn leaves now fall like guillotines.
Nothing here can move quickly.
Constant rain; perpetual drizzle.
Tonight is the climax of brooding sky:
A world in an arthritic cast.
I sink deeper into my chair
And into nowhere, remembering
Our epoch opening like an atrium.
I sit alone. Separating
The night’s black veil to watch
A rabble of stars slowly appear.
Submerged and drunk and melancholy
While you roll behind the darkness.
I think of you as though in séance
And our last night rises up from the air.
I have never heard a more
Honest and open cry
Than the rising howl you made that night:
I held your hand in the rain
And you held not just mine back,
But everything together –
And I never even realised,
All that time while I held you,
You were the fulcrum of a moment
That I let fall into nothingness.
You were the planet’s core; you were magma glue,
And that’s why the happiness stuck to us.
If it was raining then the sky did not bother your tears.